This is probably a different kind of post to what I've done so far on this blog however it is a lifestyle blog and writing about topics such as this should be just as valuable as my other posts.
When I joined university I knew there were a lot of new experiences and new things happening, I didn't quite know what to expect as I was not only starting a new section of my life, I was moving away from home, which at the time was a big step for me and definitely a very weird thing to get used to at first. Naturally, although I do like being in my own company and being on my own as well as being social, I do feel like I rely on other people for comfort and for generally making sure I'm doing things right. Even though joining university was at first unsettling, I kept reminding myself that I was building my own little life here and that this is something which if you'd told me about in 2013/2014 I'd have not taken you seriously. What I'm trying to say is that it's a huge achievement for someone like me.
One notable thing about first year however, was that because I was adjusting and settling into this new way of life and dealing with my mental health in a new environment, I didn't quite do as much as I wanted to/maybe should have done. It probably took me a little longer to settle into the new environment than others did and that therefore led me to missing out on making as many memories as I could have done especially in the very early stages of First Year, which I do regret a bit.
Ultimately, even though I did end up making progress and making many memories in first year, I did miss out even then on socialising and making memories. The memories I do have for last year are amazing as my confidence did start growing, but for the first couple of months particularly, I was held back.
Sometimes I do feel like I'm trying to make up for lost time, as especially through secondary school I struggled with anxiety and consequently it made me miss out on a lot of things throughout my teenage years. It still does now to an extent, but university particularly gave me more of a freedom and also more confidence in some ways to have good experiences and make up for time lost and things I don't always get to do. I've been there and looked back on things I wish I could have done but due to lack of confidence or anxiety or something I've not been able to do it.
Anxiety can be difficult and sometimes make you feel extremely unmotivated or unconfident and indeed stop you from socialising and doing the things you want. My advice is to try and push yourself whenever possible to try and do things. One of my ways of pushing myself towards the end of first year, was that I tried to make the most of the time I had left and I wanted to make more memories and didn't want to look back and see I'd done nothing. Try not to put pressure on yourself to do everything, but definitely try and do what you can.
Dealing with mental health struggles can be difficult, but you WILL make progress. It isn't always easy and I still have moments where I can feel myself getting triggered or think 'Shit I can't do this'. But thinking about some of the achievements I've managed over the last year and a half is so surreal so I honestly can say if you're struggling at the moment with any mental health problem, it's going to be okay, keep going and keep taking steps to push yourself. You can do it. I've made a conscious effort to try and do as much as I can and feel comfortable doing, make as many memories as I can, no matter how little they may seem. Because every memory made, is a step of progress.
For more advice and information on mental health, please take the time to visit Mind's website, there you can read other people's stories and find ways of getting help if you need it.
https://www.mind.org.uk/
Claire xxx
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